First ultrasound tomorrow-thoughts

I can't believe I am going to work before my 10:40 appointment.  I think I will be pretty worthless.  I am scared.  I know J is scared as well.  I keep imagining being in the ultrasound room waiting...waiting...waiting...to see or hear something.  I am frightened of that silence, that moment between the time the scan starts until they say something. 

A co-worker who is well aware of the process I have been through came to my desk this morning and said "One more day!  How are you feeling?"  I said "scared".  She said "Why?"  implying this was the exciting part.  She has two kids, both naturally conceived.  I know she means well, but she really has no clue what this means.  Two good betas don't equal a heartbeat.  An ultrasound doesn't mean there's a guaranteed baby for me like it may have for her.  I told her that I haven't reached the end of the road in terms of worrying and that won't be for a few more weeks if tomorrow goes well.  I am hopeful but not naive.  I shared a story from a couple of bloggers and she said "Amber, you need to stay away from that blog."  I didn't like this.  No, no...actually I don't and I won't.  Will being naive about the process make things better for me?  Will being ignorant of real life situations of ladies like me make it better?  I like knowing what could lay ahead whether it be good or bad.  I know some would prefer to stick their head in the sand and some women say that blogging is too raw, too real for them and that it scares them.   I can understand that and I think it's each individual woman's decision obviously but I would rather be scared like I am today and will be tomorrow than naive at any point.  I think going into any point of this process naive is scarier than anything I have experienced so far.