Jamie and our lucky coconut after the ultrasound.
Despite all of my worrying the ultrasound/heart scan went wonderfully today. The ultrasound technician looked at my ovaries first since they had been reported as swollen at transfer. They look normal now. She then showed us the sack which looked empty as she measured it. She zoomed in closer and we saw a little "blob" on the right side of the sack and once she zoomed even closer I saw a flicker which she pointed to...the tiniest most beautiful heartbeat...our little star was sparkling! J still couldn't see what we were looking at so she zoomed a bit more and he saw it. 149 beats per minute and the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. As I laid there and he stood next to me we held hands and squeezed harder at that moment and we both cried. I will never forget that moment. I would repeat this entire IVF roller coaster ride again for that one moment. The ultrasound technician was so nice and smiled with us as we smiled. She even zoomed in and tried to make a 3D out of our little star! What is so amazing is seeing the shape, like the tiniest baby doll ever. I love this baby.
We were called back to the exam room and Dr. O reviewed everything and said it all looks super and then he said our due date is February 2-Ground Hog Day. He went over some general things to know for pregnancy and then...he did something I totally didn't expect...He released us! So we need to find a new OB and make an appointment. It's hard to think that we will be in the mainstream with regular pregnancy people. I feel fortunate to have made it this far.
I'm looking ahead with a smile and I am letting the worries about whether or not this pregnancy is viable go. The Dr. gave me all I need to give myself permission to let go and trust and that's what I am going to do. I've hesitated about when I would add a pregnancy development gadget on my blog and I think that today is fitting. I am adding it to the side of my blog today to mark today as the day that I gave up worrying "What if" and started thinking "It's real."
"Today I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you."