Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Lucky 13

How far along? 13 weeks.  Official - last week of the first trimester!

Baby's size? Size of a peach! 

Weight Gain?  Probably not anymore than I weighed at the Dr.'s office last week.  My appetite is playing games again.  Nothing sounds good.  I have dined on Ramen Noodle and Pasta Roni this week.  My appetite was fine over the weekend and I enjoyed a couple of veggie sandwiches and a salad but Monday I was back to being a picky eater.  Oh, for Pete's sake I wish I could eat normally again! 

Maternity clothes? I'm going to be needing these pretty soon and of course it comes at a time where it seems we have money flying out of our butts.  We are in the process of installing a fence and retaining wall at home right now and we just received our ICSI bill for the May cycle.  A new wardrobe doesn't seem possible but I don't know what my alternative is exactly because even my shorts I have worn around the house for years are pulling in some places and tight in others.  I stood outside Saturday and literally cut the elastic to one of my pairs of Adidas shorts.  I love them but I didn't have any other shorts so I found scissors and cut the elastic!  I'm running out of time.

Sleep? How I miss the days when I slept on my stomach in my cocoon as Jamie liked to call it. 

Food?  Yuck.  I constantly have a bad taste in my mouth so I am constantly chugging water or trying to eat something to make the taste go away.  Usually regretting whatever I put in my mouth.  I have been swiping mints from my friend at work, she finally just gave me the go ahead to open her desk drawer and take however many I wanted (she has an economy size bag).  Thank goodness, I was probably driving her nuts constantly asking for mints like she has nothing better to do than be my mint keeper.

Best moment this week?  Spending time with J's family while putting the fence up.  My brother also came to help.  I am so touched that people gave up their weekend to help us build a fence.   It was hot outside and these guys were so hot and sweaty when they could have been relaxing on their sofas watching TV in the A/C.  I thanked them all several times, but thank you just doesn't seem to be adequate.  J's Mom was amazing as well, she drove all around town with me picking up all of the (un)necessary tools for the fence...we managed to hit all three major hardware stores in the St. Louis area and two of those stores we visited MULTIPLE times!  I was so tired by the end of Sunday that I crashed while everyone worked outside.  Whoops.

Movement? Not yet.

Symptoms?   Believe it or not I have pain where my Progesterone injections used to be.  The injection areas on my hips never hurt much during the two months of injections but they are really sore now.  I heard that this can last up to two months after injections end!  Last Friday afternoon I overworked myself.  I installed a water fountain in our patio area.  I tried to be really careful about not lifting things and taking breaks, etc. but that night I was getting a throbbing sensation in my lower abdomen.  This is normal but it was coming on more often than usual and later that night I was feeling a weird feeling go from one side to the other across the top of my the next two days I took it easier.  I'm used to really diving into home projects and being involved, this is new for me so I need to keep reminding myself that I can't do these things right now.  In general this week I haven't been feeling too good, I had headaches on Sunday and took the afternoon off Monday and Tuesday because I just wasn't feeling good in general.  Nothing specifically wrong, just felt blah.

Gender?  My brother and his wife want to perform a test on me where they hang a needle on a string above my stomach to see if it's a boy or a girl.   Still thinking on this one.

What I miss?   Having a normal appetite.  This crap is getting old. 

What I'm looking forward to? Having  normal appetite.  See a pattern?  Telling more people when the time is right.

Weekly Wisdom:  Never ask your husband to tell you that he loves you after he takes an Ambien.  You'll never understand the words coming out of his mouth!  

Milestones: I told my boss that I am pregnant today.  A book I read said to do it before it becomes obvious I am pregnant so I sent him an email and said I needed to talk to him.  He is new to our company and I don't know him very well and I have never had a male boss.  I wasn't sure what to say.  "Uh, I'm pregnant." That was the best Jamie and I came up with last night when we role played which was funny.  What else is there to say?  Luckily, he was really nice and congratulated me, it turns out his daughter was due February 2nd of this year and ended up delivering February 4th.  So that was cool.  I told him about my hopes to work part time, he is new so he didn't say too much about this but acknowledged my wish.  I hope I can work part time.  We can't afford to give up my salary in whole, but think we could swing giving up half of my salary.  A part time stay at home Mom is better than nothing.  I'll take it. 

What I love:  Every Wednesday when our baby turns a week older I send Jamie an email in the morning that says Happy __th week!  Inside of the email I provide two websites so he can follow what the baby is doing this week.  Last week I didn't send it to him immediately and I received an email from him saying "Where's my update?"  I love that he follows and knows what the baby is doing each week.  It's a great way for him to be involved.

Emotions: Cried like a baby last night when I was watching Kathy Griffen "My life on the D-list" and her beloved dog Chance died.  I cried this morning when I got to work and in my email was a birth announcement from my friend Christia who had her baby on Monday.  A beautiful little girl, Sawyer Marie.   

Thursday, July 22, 2010

12 weeks and first OB appointment.

The first appointment with the new OB was nice.  A little overwhelming.  I got there first and filled out paperwork and gave a urine specimen which I was instructed to do each time I come in after signing in.  Then J and I were called back and the nurse took my weight, blood preasure and urine specimen.  Asked some questions and told us to wait for the Dr.  A few minutes later there was a knock and Dr. B came in.  He looked like Captain Kangaroo a bit.  He invited us to join him in his office where he asked us questions.  He knew we did IVF so he hesitated a bit before asking how many babies we had in the belly.  Only one we said with smiles.  He looked happy and relieved and said "Well, this will be easy then."  He took us back to the exam room for the exam.  He was going to do a pap but said he worried it may cause bleeding and he didn't want to freak me out with blood.  Everything looked great and my cervix is a nice blue color....who knew!?!  He tried to hear the heartbeat with the doppler but said it's really too early before 14 weeks.  He tried and tried but couldn't find the heart beat.  I think he felt bad and worried it might freak us IVFers out so he fit us in for an ultrasound.  I had bloodwork and then over to the u/s room where I had my last (hopefully) internal ultrasound!!!!!  The lady said that baby was too big to be seen by the internal scan after this one so next time it would be through the belly.  Phew!!!!  We saw our little bean, looking more human and could easily make out the head.  At one point J and I both saw the baby facing us, we could see both eye sockets.  The Dr.'s office gave us a big bag of goodies as well and we were off.  I was really hoping for an u/s though we weren't supposed to get one and we got one!  Next one is supposed to be at 20 weeks!  So far away. 

How far along? 12 weeks and 1 day! A big week. :)

Baby's size? The size of a plum this week. 2.5 inches, measured yesterday at 5.5 cm.  Next week the baby will be the size of a peach!  Jamie and I like to peek ahead at the fruit for the following week!  A peach seems so big!  I mean, it's really the length of a peach, but still.

Weight Gain? I was scared to weigh yesterday at my appointment because for the last few weeks I have taken in few vegetables and eaten whatever would get me by.  I was happy to have only gained 4 pounds since ER.  Phew! 

Maternity clothes? No, still just a bella band on occasion. I ordered 3 more as I am having to wear them more often.  I will need maternity pants soon.  Even though the bella band does a great job hiding the fact that my zipper is open, my pockets are sticking out. 

Sleep? I got my special pillow delivered last Friday just in time for an afternoon nap!   I really like it though I don't sleep with it all the time-just most of the time.  It's like sleeping in a care bear cloud car.

Food? I am happy to say that all of the literature I have read is right and at 11 weeks I gained more energy and an appetite!  YAY!  I had tomato mozzerela salad, a house salad and a veggie sandwich this week!  And...Mexican is back in my good graces!  I really crave sushi right now and deli meat of all things.  I won't be enjoying either.  What I would give for a turkey sandwich!  Jamie offered to roast a turkey and make me a sandwich but I want those wafer thin slices of deli meat.  I'm not sure why either.  Probably because I can't have it...I am salivating by the way.

Best moment this week?   The ultrasound.  It was great seeing Star.  Another high point were the massages J booked us Sunday at our home.  We worked really hard outside and I had no idea he booked our masseuse to come over.  I had a very light massage since it's not recommended in the first trimester.  She did my scalp, face and arms.  Next time she's bringing her pillow for a prenatal massage!  YAY! 

Movement? Not yet.

Symptoms? More energy but still more tired than usual.  Occasionally it hurts when my bladder is full, like in the middle of the night.  When I go to empty it, it's painful.

Gender? I don't have a clue.  Just hoping for one set of genitalia or the other and not both.  :)

What I miss? Sushi and  But not a big deal when you consider what we have in exchange.

What I'm looking forward to? Our 20 week appointment when we find out the sex of the baby! 
Weekly Wisdom:  Errrr...I duhno.

Milestones: Is looking like a Sea Cow a milestone?  I don't look pregnant, I look like I have been in the donuts. 

Emotions: Feeling great overall.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

11 weeks

11 week update:  I have decided to do my questionaire chart on only even numbered weeks as it would get pretty boring weekly.  So for this week I just want to state one major issue....nothing sounds good anymore.  I didn't eat dinner Monday night.  I sat around the house until 7:30 trying to think of something that sounded good and when nothing came to mind I decided to go to Chipotle...mexican has always been my saving grace.   I don't know what I was thinking but I decided to try grilled chicken on my burrito bowl and as soon as I saw him put the chicken on my bowl I knew I had made a mistake.  I got the bowl home, had two bites and that was that.  No dinner.  I just went to bed.  Last night after therapy I tried to find something that sounded plain and good for dinner.  I knew there was nothing at home so I did the unthinkable...I went to Taco Bell...more mexican...I ordered a spanish rice cup and a pinto beans and cheese cup.  My order totaled $2.00 and that small portion of rice and beans was my dinner.  I am really struggling in the food department.  As I type now, I haven't had breakfast and I have no idea what I will end up eating.  Other than that I feel great.  I ordered my pregnancy pillow yesterday so I would have it for my 12th week.  12 weeks is a huge milestone for us as we will be out of the first trimester.   OH!!!!!!! And I had my first baby dream last night!!!  I had a baby girl named Sophie.  Wonder if the fact that the baby was a girl in the dream means anything?

Monday, July 12, 2010

The C's weekend update

Friday night- Jamie and I laid in bed thinking up baby names.  Okay some legit baby names and mostly really ridiculous names.  We started with a couple of nice names and before we knew it, we were throwing out crazy names.  Mine were celebrity Jason Lee's (from My Name is Earl) son's name--Pilot Inspector.  And Matthew McConaughey's nephew--Miller Lite.  Jamie threw out a couple of names that made me question how he even came up with such names.  The only one I can remember was Ashley Tila.  Ashley Tila?  Turns out that it's what one of his friends named their kids.  When he said that name I looked at him like "Where did you come up with that?" and "Are you serious?"  I was glad it didn't come off of the top of his head!  After about 15 minutes and many laughs back and forth I looked at Jamie and said "Isn't this fun?"  "Isn't it nice to have something new to talk about, something exciting?"  He agreed.

Saturday-It used to be I that cracked the whip around our house especially when it came time for party planning.  No longer.  Apparently I don't have enough drive and Jamie has assumed the role of whip cracker.  We have a party at our home in just three weeks and every weekend we work towards preparing the house for the party and buying the necessary items for the party.  I definitely haven't worked as hard on this party as I used to work for big events like this.  It used to be that I would think up crafty little projects and spend countless hours on the details.  I LOVE DETAILS!  One time I got the idea to make place card holders out of forks by bending and curling the tines of the fork to hold place cards.  I spent hours with pliars curling metal into whimsical shapes.  I still have them and still love them but those days are gone.  I have little no energy these days.  When Jamie asked me Saturday morning what our day would consist of I must admit I had pictured lounging around the entire day, curled up in my favorite comforter on the sofa in "my" living room.  Well, it turns out he had different ideas.  In half an hour I was running errands with him and then I found myself taping and painting doors and trim!  Not what I had envisioned for myself but it did need to get done.  We got a lot done that day and wouldn't you know it my darling husband even made time for the pool that afternoon.  I love getting to the pool these days.  I guess it's because I can lounge there and get some color while people watching and enjoying a dip every once in a while.  The last two times we have sat in the kid area and I have really enjoyed watching the Mommy's and Daddy's play with their young babes.  I can't help but think what a completely different experience it would be if we weren't expecting.

Sunday-I do want to add that Sunday I worked my tail off. I baked twelve strudel from scratch for our upcoming party. My feet were killing me afterwards and I kept telling Jamie I was going to sit down but kept finding myself cleaning, moving things, etc.  See?  So, I'm not totally useless!  I made it until 2:00 before I took a nap.  Naps seem to make me more tired these days.  I have always loved a good nap on a weekend but it seems now I don't wake up feeling rested but tired.  More tired than I did before the nap. 

Insurance-Our benefits for health insurance had to be renewed by today.  Jamie and I sat down Thursday night and planned for the year ahead.  Obviously right now that includes Baby C.  So we sat down and figured out what my work schedule would be after the baby was born as well as what child care options were in our area and pricing for each option.  We received pricing and were told we could come in and tour the facilities.  It seems so soon to be doing this but our benefits allow us to set aside money for child care so we needed to estimate how much we would need to set aside and as close as possible.  There are days it still hasn't hit me that I am carrying a prune(soon to be a lime) in my tummy so planning for child care was very surreal.  The cost is astonishing and after coming up with a monthly total I looked at Jamie and said "can you imagine if it had been twins!?!  That number would be double!".  He looked relieved.  All of the paper work was in on time yesterday.  We will need to make some changes once Baby C arrives but we're ready and that feels great!

What to call the baby?  We have started referring to the baby as whatever fruit, vegetable or spice it is considered size wise that particular week.  First it was "Jamie, cut me some slack I am carrying a sesame seed!"  Jokingly of course.  Saturday when I didn't feel like doing much and Jamie kept giving me the evil "get your ass up off of the sofa" eye and counting down the minutes until we were leaving I reminded him that I was carrying a prune and to take it easy on me!  This morning I said good-bye to J, he is leaving town for four days and he told me to take care of his lime.  It's fun to be able to joke and laugh. 

Poking the baby?  I had to laugh yesterday when I was telling Jamie that my stomach is starting to get harder.  I poked at it a little and grabbed his finger to show him.  He pulled back really quick and said "Stop poking it!"  He's afraid that poking or pressing on my stomach is going to harm the baby!  He cracks me up.  I keep explaining that the baby isn't right under the skin but buried deep inside and he doesn't buy it.  Oh well.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

10 weeks!

How far along? 10 weeks!  Double digits.  :) YAY!

Baby's size? The size of a prune.  Although the picture of the prune to the right looks more like a rock!  I am looking forward to moving past the prune!

Weight Gain? Not sure.  I haven't weighed as my scale at home has a sticker on it that reads "Pregnant women should not use this scale".  Guess I will be waiting until our next Doctor's appointment.   At last weigh in I was up two pounds but that was where I weighed before I started this round of IVF.  I am definitely not eating that additional 200-300 calories yet as most things don't sound good.

Maternity clothes? No, just a bella band on occasion.  I only have one in white and have been looking for another one in black but haven't found one yet.  Trying to make my clothes work as long as I can.  Some of my pants are tighter than others, in general I just don't like wearing tight pants because it makes me think I am squeezing our little star!

Sleep? Umm, yes please!  I'll take some of that!  My hips are very sore from injections so it hurts to lay in bed.  The Rh injection the nurse gave me last week really hurt and bruised my hip so for three nights in a row I have had the PIO injection in my left hip which is now sore.  At least the injections are over so I can get my hips back to feeling normal.  I'm still working on sleeping on my left side for the entire night.  I'm not there yet but working on it.  I would say that last night I slept on my left side about 90% of the night.  Still looking forward to that pregnancy pillow as I am getting sick of wrestling four pillows!  I will probably get some sort of a foam pad to put on my side of the bed as well because my side is really stiff and sore in the mornings.  Maybe a little extra padding would help?

Food?  Not my favorite subject.  For the most part I like Mexican, it's plain tasting to me.  My favorite night this week was going out to eat dinner with J's Mom and her husband.  We had hot wings which I had been wanting for weeks (I watched someone make them on the travel channel) and I even managed to eat an entire greek salad!  Honestly, I loved it so much I could have gone back the next night and will probably go back soon.  I still hate grilled meat and any vegetables.  Jamie and I thought that after I ate hot wings I was over my aversion to all meat...he bought a 12 pack of chicken breasts and we grilled them all last night.  I tried making a small chicken sandwich with a little mayo, wing sauce and tomato to cover up the bite was all i managed and that didn't go down.  I had a couple of bites of egg noodles and that was dinner.  I brushed my teeth to get the taste out and went to bed.  Jamie finds it funny that I don't like grilled meat right now but a happy meal from McD's is gourmet to me.  He asks about the hamburger meat but let's face it their hamburgers hardly tastes like meat!  I'm not eating these a lot, I have had two happy meals in 6 weeks.  Oh, also...I found a new favorite RED HOT RIPLETS CHIPS AND FRENCH ONION DIP!!!!!!  Oh my is that good.

Best moment this week? A few!  Aside from my dinner of hot wings...something funny happened yesterday.  I was in bad traffic after work.  I was feeling nauseous, was stuck in my car and still had to get to the grocery store.  To get to the grocery store I have to drive past my house, so I texted J to ask him if he would mind running a tortilla out to my car!  He agreed.  So I turned onto my street, drove up a ways and there he was with a tortilla!!!  He ran along next to my car like I was in a marathon or something and handed it to me as I kept driving and jokingly yelled "go, go,go! only 8 more miles!" like I was running!  I love that he was willing to do such an off the wall gesture.  I had one bite on the way to the grocery store and it made my nausea go away instantly!  It probably saved us some money too because plan B was to go in the grocery store and open any box of crackers or loaf of bread I could find before checking out!    Another "best moment" was watching Jamie play with my niece last night.  Jamie makes her light up and interacts with her.  When I watch J with her I can't help but look forward to him with our own child.  One more great moment...I made my blog into a hard cover book and it was delivered this week!  I now have a keep sake of the first part of our journey that I can hold onto.  It turned out so nice.  Jamie and I flipped through it and marveled at how far we have come and how much we've been through.  Other than those moments, I am just enjoying being happy and feeling fulfilled.

Movement? Not yet.

Symptoms?  Just nausea and tiredness. 

Gender? Two of our friends tell us they think we are having a girl, my brother thinks it's a boy.  Jamie and I both keep thinking it's a girl.  I'm not sure why I do but Jamie thinks it's a girl because he wants a boy so bad.  We had talked a few weeks ago about only having one child due to the cost of IVF and I told him last night that if we had a girl this time he would for sure want to try again for a boy so that blows the only child theory!  I was telling him last night that you can do gender selection with IVF, he looked at me and said...and I quote.."is it too late?"  I looked at him and howled!  "Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to stick with what we have Jamie...10 weeks might be a little late to select especially with only one embryo that made it out of 12!  It's not like we have more to choose from."  He cracks me up.   I would absolutely love either a boy or a girl but there is something about thinking of a little version of Jamie that I would especially love.   I love the relationship between J and his father and to watch J with a little boy would be so great to me.  J was saying last night that he would miss playing ball if he never had a boy.  He pitched to our friends little boy over the July 4th weekend and they had a great time.  When I think of J with a girl though, it just seems like it would fit.  He has two sisters and just knows women and their emotions, etc. 

What I miss?  Sushi!  I also saw a margarita this week that looked great at the Cardinals game!  I did have an O'DOULS which was so yummy and hit the spot!  How can you go to a baseball game without a beer...even if it is alcohol free!?!  But honestly, I would give those items up for life without hesitation.  We are living what we worked so hard for.  It's so worth it.

What I'm looking forward to? Our next ultrasound.  Experiencing Jamie tell his family we are pregnant.  I think it will be emotional for him...and me.  Mostly I am looking forward to finding out the sex and much much much later on...for Jamie to feel the baby move.  I can't wait for him to experience that.  Oh and at 12 weeks...going to get my hair colored!  Yikes, it's getting bad.  I haven't had my hair done since before stims started!  Dr. O gave me the okay at 12 weeks, so I have already made my appointment!

Weekly Wisdom: Good family members can make up for bad ones.  I feel so lucky to have my wonderful husband, my in-laws and my brother in my life right now.  They have been an amazing source of support.

Milestones: I had my last PIO injection last night! That officially ends months of injections! I kind of feel like we have graduated. No injections anymore, that's a big step!  Two more weeks until we are out of the first trimester! 

Emotions:  Not too bad.  I'm just really just trying to take everything in and enjoy all of this with Jamie.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Dizziness and Life

I called my nurse last Thursday at the RE's office.  I had been experiencing vertigo...rooms turning completely upside down on an axis.  Imagine a ferris wheel, then imagine seeing your bedroom making that motion.  Spinning in a perfect circle as if someone took a picture stuck a thumb tack squarely in the center and spun it around.  The first time it happened was Monday night.  I had gotten up to use the restroom when I laid back down  my entire bedroom spun like a carnival ride.  I was laying down when it happened and I shook my head because it was so intense and when that didn't stop it I propped myself on my elbows and shook my head again.  This happened a couple more times over the next few days, mostly when I made sudden movements in bed or closed my eyes.  My nurse from the RE's office called back and said that my RE didn't think that the vertigo/dizziness had anything to do with pregnancy so she had me call my regular Doctor.  I was at my regular Dr. an hour later and after finding out I had frequent trips to the bathroom he performed a urine analysis.  I had a bladder infection which was causing the vertigo.  So I am on a safe medicine to clear up the infection.  I wonder if it's been going on since the egg retrieval because that's how long I have had frequent urination.  I just chalked it all up to what was happening with my body.  It turns out my Doctors wife underwent IVF 15 years ago.  He was very happy for us.

We had a great weekend.  We relaxed a lot at the pool and did some not so fun stuff around the house including painting doors, trim and concrete.  On the 4th we went to our friends house to swim in their new pool which was a lot of fun.  J had kept them updated on our IVF through out the process and they were quick to hug and congratulate once we arrived.  It was so nice but I have to admit when other people bring it up I am still a bit like a deer in headlights.  It still doesn't seem real.  I was asked if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby or not and when the due date was, etc.  It was so strange.  I'm used to talking about next steps, new strategies and new RE's, not due dates and babies!  It was exciting though.

As for telling people we haven't told, we are waiting until 14 weeks, at least that's what J's hope is...that we keep it a secret until then.   A lot of his family will be in town and I know he wants to take advantage of that.    I can't blame him. 

I have to say that I am surprised at how different life has been over the past few weeks.  J and I don't talk much about the pregnancy.  I would have thought that as hard as we tried we would talk about it every day now that we are actually pregnant with our little star but we don't and that's okay.  We are finally able to just talk about and go about life.  This is the first time since we got married that we haven't dwelled on making a baby.  We are able to focus on us and that's so nice.  Our big thing right now is watering the sod that we just had laid around the yard.  Twice a day we go out and water our respective patches of new grass.  We're working on the house for the party as well.  We're just focusing on life and I think that's pretty great.