Thursday, October 29, 2009


I was just sitting at work thinking about my husband and how I miss him.  I was recalling a conversation I had with him about a fellow infertile blogger's recent post.  I told him about how she gave into a couple of glasses of wine one night and started talking with her husband about how maybe all of this having a baby stuff is for the birds and what they should really be doing is saving for an early retirement, moving into a smaller house fit for just the two of them and planning on traveling the world after their early retirement.  As I told J about this post he kind of nodded his head like, well, they have a good point, nodding as if maybe we should consider the same, like it was sound advice.  The end of the blog story went on to say about how she sobered up the next day and voila she was right back to trying for a baby. 

I've thought about this post a few times since reading it last week and it occured to me a few minutes ago while thinking of my husband...I am content.  Don't get me wrong, I would love to have children.  But, if the future held early retirement for me and traveling the world with J, I would be okay with that. 

I am in a happy place in life right now.  Sure I have my sad moments/days (like my last post) but other than infertility I am fortunate.  I have a great job, I am loving being an Interior Designer.  I love my projects.  It's little paperwork and mostly designing.  I had doubts of whether or not I would like being an Interior Designer after college, but it's growing on me.  I love our new house, I love having countless projects ahead of us that will create our idea of a perfect home.  I love my husband and I realize now that he is out of town going on four days with two more weeks left to travel...that I will be okay as long as I have him.  Since he has left town it's not a baby I am missing but J, my world.  I can safely say that after 8 years I still race home after work to be with him.  Look foward to my weekends to spend time with him and long to be with him when he is gone. 

After I found out I would most likely have fertility problems back in January of this year Jamie had a card waiting for me on the counter at home...It had a cat on the front of the card with it's arm in a gauze sling and a gauze bandage on it's head and it read "If this situation has you thinking four-letter are some you may want to add to the list-HOPE and HUGS."  His message read on the inside:  "A, Keep your chin up.  Whatever the future holds, we will face it together, always remember that I love you.  Love J"  There are many things I hope to achieve in life but marrying J was my biggest achievment yet...whatever the outcome is for us, whatever life holds, I know I will be okay.

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