35/35

Holy Crap!  35 weeks down/35 days to go until our Estimated Due Date (the original Feb 2nd due date).  I am in awe that we have made it this far and in what seems like a flash.  35 weeks has passed in what seems like the blink of an eye.  I started reflecting back on the last 35 weeks and it looks something like this...

It all started with this little prayer the day of our first injection for this cycle...

"I asked God to watch over us as we pursue our dream of having a child. I promised him that I would make this child my first priority in life and would make it my mission to raise a child that felt wanted and loved. I would give this child all of the good things I have been afforded in life and do my best spare it all of the negative things. I would help guide this child to be a loving, responsible, caring, intelligent person. I would give this child all that I have if we could be so lucky as to have a successful IVF cycle this time."

 May 15, 2010 - Embryo 1 transferred

 May 15, 2010 - Embryo 2 transferred

An excerpt from my post the day of transfer-

"There, in the middle of my uterus on a fuzzy ultrasound screen was a bright glow, our embryos. Jamie rubbed my arm and then grabbed my hand once we got closer to the moment and when I looked back at his face once the transfer was complete he was red and he had tears in his eyes. I looked back once more and he had his head down. That summed it up, all of our hard work, our many appointments, all of those injections, vitamins and pills were for this one little magical moment we had been waiting for. The embryos sat in the brightest spot on the screen in a little air pocket in my uterus, it was done. "

A few days worth of positive pregnancy tests kept secret by J and I while we soaked it all in.  An experience I thought I would never have.  I just kept testing!

June 17, 2010 - 2 days before J's 34th birthday.  Our first ultrasound where we saw the heartbeat for the first time.  J posing with our lucky coconut.









Our  10 week ultrasound. 

June 29, 2010 - Our 12 week ultrasound.  Printed to tell J's Grandma that we are expecting.









August 7, 2010 - J's Grandmother's 85th birthday party.



















 Sharing the good news at 14 weeks.

Great moment. Grandmother and Grandson after the announcement.



















September 16, 2010 - 18 weeks
It's a GIRL!

 Still, my favorite ultrasound.

Presents for Daddy.  The day we found out we were having a girl.

December 3, 2010 - 4D ultrasound.












I can't believe so much has happened in 35 weeks.  We are so fortunate.  As far as the pregnancy at this point...my bones hurt.  Sleeping is very uncomfortable and I flip back and forth constantly throughout the night because laying on my sides is hurting my bones from my lower legs all the way up to my shoulders and especially my hips.  Sleeping on my back helps to relieve my sides but I can only lay that way for so long before it gets really uncomfortable.  Two mornings ago I woke up in so much pain I was walking like an elderly person and so I took a hot shower to warm up my bones and that helped.  Sleeping on the sofa is helping some as it is softer than our bed.  Looks like sofa city is it for me yet again.

I have also been experiencing more BH contractions.  Cramp like feelings low under my belly that last 30 seconds to a minute.  They just appeared on Christmas night and happened a couple more times throughout the next couple of days.  Looks like the ol' body is preparing for our little star.

On another front.  I have to admit I am getting nervous for the arrival of our little bundle of joy.  I know she will be the best thing that ever happened to us and that we will love her to pieces but I also know how much work a baby is when it isn't mine so I can only imagine how much work a baby will be when it is mine.  I know our lives are going to change drastically.  I love our life right now.  I know I will love our new life too but it's scary to say goodbye to our current life.  I sometimes wonder if J realizes how much work it's going to be.  Even if he doesn't, I know he will be an active participant when Star is here.  

We worked on Star's room this week.  We have a few more things to hang and then the slipcover needs to be completed and the room is all set.  Which reminds me...we need a small fan for her room to reduce SIDS.  They say a fan circulating air reduces SIDS by 80%.  I need to get on that but where do you buy a small fan in the winter?  I've looked but heaters are all I find.  Star's lamp and baskets came in last night for her bedroom and J had them all set up when I got home.  We got this adorable little lamp from Land of Nod.  Love that place but would it kill those people to have a sale once in a while?  Anyway, we got this little bird bath lamp that looks antiqued with a white shade.

We had also forgotten about two purchases we made for her walls back in October!  They were on back order at Pottery Barn Kids and we were never called.  We would have completely forgotten had it not been for me finding the receipt in Star's closet by mistake two nights ago!  I called and they were in.  Here they are....

So sweet!  Oh! And we have decided to seal the room off from any more visitors and put Star's name up along with her initial on another wall and her monogram!  It's official, we're close!

Christmas 2010 and packing for the big day

Christmas this year was interesting to say the least - a lot happened.  I had a great birthday - 33 feels great and I am so happy with where I am at 33.  My sweet husband got me a beautiful Coach purse for my b-day which was very sweet.  I have a love/hate relationship with Coach and he picked a great purse, a "mom-style" purse with built in organization and I loved it-but exchanged it for one size larger!  We made Santa's Snack Mix on that day and put it in jars to pass out to family and headed over to my MIL's for our annual Christmas gift exchange.  That was fun. 

Christmas morning J and I woke up and started preparing breakfast for guests we invited over.  We made two Christmas morning Casseroles the night before and made french toast that morning.  Our guests left at 11:30 or so and J and I opened our gifts to each other shortly after.  We took turns picking out gifts for each other to open.  I received a large bottle of my favorite perfume, Jadore' by Dior along with a great lotion and purse sized bottle as well as body scrub and more lotion and a face scrub by Bliss (love that stuff).  I also received a down comforter which I am excited to put on our bed.  Perhaps the best gift was a gift that came in a box I have come to love over the years...a blue Tiffany & Co. box with a red bow.  I opened it and there was a beautiful necklace with a star shaped pendant.  I knew exactly what it was in reference to but it wasn't until I opened the card which I had missed that I teared up, as did Jamie.  The card read, "Merry Christmas.  Love, Star"  It was the single sweetest moment of my holiday season.  I hugged and kissed J.  J put it on me that morning and I haven't taken it off.  The fact that he thought to do that was so sweet.  I am so lucky.

 

As for J, I wanted to give him something he really needed and has needed for a long time.  A new set of tools, and a tool chest and cabinet to store them in.  J has become quite the handy man over the years.  He needed a complete set of good tools and a means to organize them.  His current tool collection consisted of mis-matched odds and ends and were kept in a box.  He now has 8 drawers with liners to organize a complete set of tools as well as his first Dewalt power drill with bits.   He needed these things and I wanted him to have them before Star was here.  Every Dad needs a complete set of tools.  :)  J got to open a few gifts not related to tools, a t-shirt, a hoodie and athletic shorts with his favorite college team logo on them, a coffee gift card and a grooming tool as well.  We put his tool cabinet together and last night we used the tools for the first time to hang shelves and picture frames up in Star's room.  It was nice to know we had the tools we needed and where to find them. 

...

In other news we have officially started packing our hospital bag!  I have a list of what is recommended we bring by our hospital and another list from the Subfertile Frugalista of what she packed for her hospital trip.  She gives a nice account of what she used and didn't use for her hospital stay.  With both lists in hand I went out and tried to find the best buys I could.  I already had some nightgowns that would be perfect but I needed options to wear during the day as well.  I wanted versatile, loose clothing.  I checked all over and finally found these at Destination Maternity...

 

















I got three of these 3-piece ensembles in different colors (they were only $45 for each set).  They will be perfect for the stay.  They are perfect for feedings, lounging or company when the robe is used.  I also got 4 bras, some small toiletry items, snacks and a pair of slippers to toss away after our stay.  Our hospital recommends packing a bag for Mom, one for Dad and one for Labor filled with massage items, etc.  I think our third suit case will be filled more with electronics and paper work than labor items.  We are thinking that J will stay in the hospital with me most of the time and we have a dog sitter on stand by so that is taken care of.  Here is the list of what I have packed so far and what I still need to pack...

Packed:
3 nightgowns
3 pajama pants
4 pair of socks
slippers
swim suit (recommended by hospital for tub)
3 3-piece day outfits
4 nursing bras
toiletries including chap stick, head bands and pony tail holders
Go home outfit for Star
Snacks

Need to pack:
J's suit case
Paper work
Go home outfit for me with Shoes
underwear
Baby book
Flip camera
Nikon camera with charger and extra disc
Cell phones/chargers
Nook (electronic book) and charger
J's lap top
Hat for Star
Car seat/base installed in car
Baby help books?

...

On another front...J and I went back to look at stroller's just to make sure we liked the stroller we were getting and decided on a different stroller.  The city mini is so great except for one thing...storage.  There is the tiniest little storage compartment on the bottom that is hardly accessible.  My purse wouldn't fit in there and I couldn't imagine a trip to the mall with a diaper bag, purse and shopping bags and no storage.  As much as I loved that stroller we had to part ways...I have pushed enough strollers to know the value of that storage below.  So we moved up one level to the City Select.  It was on sale for $399 but we went home and found it for $70 cheaper on-line and ordered it as well as the Chicco Romantic (that's the color) Car Seat with additional base which we also found for a great deal on line.  Here they are...everything in basic black because the other color options are downright SCARY!

 


What I love about this stroller is the baby can sit high close to us or lower and the baby can face us or out all the way up to 55 pounds and did I mention the fabulous storage?  I could but 5 of my purses down there.  It also has the capability to add a second seat in the event there is a second child...ever...which I am doubting but it's a nice option to have.   Here it is with the car seat installed and below you can see the many different ways it can be used.

So, that's about it.  We removed those items from our "need to get" list at BRU and they are on their way!  When the car seat bases come in we will go to our local fire house and have them installed in each of our cars.  Our holiday weekend was wonderful.  The best I have probably ever had and filled with love, cheer and baby gear.

34 weeks and grateful

In addition to my update this week I wanted to write about how grateful I am for the gift, the sheer privilege, to be expecting the baby we hoped for so badly last Christmas. I sit here the day before my 33rd birthday and two days before Christmas and know that I have already received the best gift I could ever hope for.  I am a lucky, lucky girl.  I've got a baby in my belly and a husband I can't get enough of.

How far along? 34 weeks! 

Baby's size? A melon! (Confused because we have already been a melon before in this pregnancy, but maybe we are a bigger melon?)  19.5 inches!

Weight Gain? 19 pounds.

Sleep? INSOMNIA!  Up two mornings this week at 4:45 and one morning at 1:45.  Wide awake.  Turns out this is a great time to get stuff done.  Grocery lists, checking emails, catching up on recorded shows I've missed.  Then I head to work where the day drags on.  My shoulder and back are feeling better though.  The major pains are gone for now so that's good.  Terrible round ligament pain last night.  Man, those hurt.  I'll gladly deal with it but I still nod my head at Michelle Duggar.

Food? Still loving my milk.

Best moment this week? J feeling Star move after dinner the other night.  He finally felt her squirm instead of kick.  I love looking at his face when he feels something.

Movement? Lots! Especially after dinner.  I also sat in an hour meeting yesterday and watched my belly move.  It's so crazy to see it moving.  Star is still sticking her butt out a lot.  All of a sudden there's a little round ball protruding from my round belly right under my rib cage.  I always say that Star is sticking her booty out.

Symptoms? Insomnia and swelling of hands and feet.  My skin on my stomach is finally stretched pretty tight and..........SNORING.   I used to be a silent sleeper but as soon as  I lay down, like instantly, my sinuses fill and I start coughing.  I heard snoring is normal during pregnancy in our classes and several women admitted to snoring in our class but I hate the thought of snoring.  I hate that I woke J up the other morning.  Probably the only time he has gotten up before me on a work day.  I went downstairs after he got up and rounded the corner into the kitchen and he said "You're fired!"  I woke the poor guy up and he wanted to fire me as his bed mate!  I have to write about another night a few weeks ago that I went to bed early and was all tucked into my nest, drifted off to sleep while J lay beside me watching TV only to be woken by laughter..giggling...I opened my eyes and there was J, looking at me, giggling with this face of disbelief at the sounds I was making!  Waking up to someone laughing at you snore?  So embarrassing!  He told me he would have recorded it on his phone had the dog not been laying on him.  I told him he better NEVER record me snoring...no girl wants to be recorded snoring!

What I miss? Nothing.

What I'm looking forward to? Our next ultrasound.  We met with Dr. B Tuesday night and he said there appears to be a large amount of amniotic fluid (which he hadn't mentioned before) and of course we know that Star measured rather large last time...so I am looking forward to seeing what happens next ultrasound. 

Looking forward to Christmas Eve at J's Mom's again this year and I am also looking forward to Christmas morning again this year.  I have some gifts I hope J will really love and I am excited to host breakfast for the third year in a row with my brother, his wife and my niece.  J and I make Christmas morning breakfast casserole and Martha Stewart's french toast made with challah bread.  It's delicious and it makes Christmas morning that much better when you start it off with a great breakfast.  That evening we are making dinner for J's Dad and Step mom and seeing a movie.  Not excited about seeing "The fighter" but there aren't many options I like at the theatre right now unfortunately.  Oh well. 

Weekly Wisdom: I am with and be grateful for the gift of being pregnant.

Milestones: I think insomnia is a big milestone...I had been waiting for it and here it is.  I don't mind it, I kind of like getting things done with extra hours in my day but let's face it sleep is always better than little to no sleep.  

What I love: Realizing that the time is just ticking away.  I was talking to girls at work and we all said that it felt like just last week that I found out I was pregnant...I can't believe we are in week 34.  Time is flying.  Makes me understand how people look at their kids and say how time has flown by.

Emotions:  So, I have a strange pregnancy side effect.  It's reoccured my entire pregnancy and I haven't written about it but figured I should just to document it.   I don't even know how to put this without sounding super weird.  For the last 7-8 months I have had really really really sad thoughts about dogs.   These thoughts are accompanied by vivid visuals and it has happened probably 8-10 times at least.  I wrote about a terrible dream I had about our dog Bowden and his skin coming off, etc.  I woke up crying and totally upset by it for a couple of days.  That was the first or second time.  I had the same thing happen about him a few more times including the day we put him to sleep.  I relived the terrible moment we put him down in the vet's office and what I kept envisioning was the life leaving his eyes.   Then it was about my family dog growing up.  Then it was about a dog J and I saw killed in front of us on Valentines Day six years ago, then it was about my current dog, Wilson and seeing him be put to sleep in the future and then this week I have seen a large dead dog on the side of the highway on my way to work four days in a row.  It's unlike anything I have ever experienced.  My therapist is puzzled by it.  I wish it would stop happening.  It is so scary and sad.  I see something that reminds me of these things and vivid memories or visuals come and then I can't shake them.  I am usually minding my own business, not thinking of anything imparticular when a fleeting thought comes and takes over my emotions, it's happened on my way to work, ending in uncontrollable sobbing.  It happened on a run to the fabric store in the parking lot.  I hadn't even parked yet when I had to stop at a stop sign and clear my eyes and get myself together.  I am basically reliving any terrible time I had with a pet or other animal...from saying good bye, to putting them to sleep to seeing them get killed in front of me.  More so than the memories, it's the visuals which are so detailed that bothers me.  I feel like that kid that says "I see dead people".  I see dead dogs????  So, strange.  I'm really hoping this goes away after pregnancy.

Projects: We will be tackling Star's room this weekend.  I have said this the last few weeks but time is a tickin' and we gotta get moving.

Merry Christmas!

33 weeks - a bulleted update on vacation

The 33rd week has been an interesting week.  

• Flying was difficult and it was hard to sit for so long with a sore back.  I used heating patches for my back in an effort to help my left shoulder.  My Dr. had told me to get up and stretch mid-flight.  I got up once on our flight from Chicago to Ft. Myers but that didn't make my feet swell any less.  My feet were so swollen after we landed and I had sharp pains in my stomach.  That night I got great sleep.
• Shoulders, neck, hips and collar bones hurt from sleeping on both sides.  Using heating pads on a regular basis to help the pain under my shoulder blade.
• Feet have started swelling.  Toes resemble lil' smokies more and more. 
• Walked around the outlet mall yesterday and after three or so hours I was done.  My feet were killing me, I grew silent and couldn't think anymore.  It was fun to go into the kids stores we had never gone into before.  We are doing more shopping today.
• Using the bathroom constantly.  Around 5-6 times per night and I think I used the bathroom 5-6 times at the outlet mall.  Sometimes I think Star just nudges my bladder and gives me the urge to go even though I just went and don't really have to.  The strange thing about going so often is that when you have to go, YOU HAVE TO GO and then you go and there is hardly anything.
• Star is moving from side to side more now that she is running low on room and instead of kicks I am feeling her entire body squirm.  Her head is down and low.  
• I forgot to mention last week after the Dr. appt. that I have gained 18 pounds total so far which I am thrilled with.  I don't crave anything but milk.  Ice cream doesn't even thrill me but I have had a couple of small bowls full of Blue Bell Ice Cream since I have been down in Florida.
• My hips have started hurting and I have noticed that I waddle now.  I think it must be the relaxin that the body releases to help loosen the joints.  

It's been great being on vacation with my hubby.  He has been very helpful in helping me get comfortable when I can't seem to get comfortable.  A few more days to go...

32 week Dr. visit-----So we're confused...

 I met Jamie at the Dr.'s office for the ultrasound and appointment with Dr. B.  We had our ultrasound first and I have to say this ultrasound was less exciting than any of the others.  Star is so big you can't see much of her on the screen.  It paled in comparison to the 4D ultrasound, too.  So the ultrasound tech is measuring star's thigh bone, her abdomen and her head and apparently these measurements all go into a formula to determine weight of the baby and therefore the due date.  We were eager to know what the result was.  The ultrasound tech. told us the weight is 5 pounds 8 ounces...LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.... 

FIVE POUNDS EIGHT OUNCES

(Jamie just said that this puts us on pace for a line backer)

Okay, so I am a little surprised because my 32 week update this week said Star weighs just at or under 4 pounds.  My exact words to the UT were, "THAT'S A BIG BABY!"  I had all kinds of visuals.  So, we go to see Dr. B next and he looks at Star's ultrasound photos, says she looks great and then says...from the weight we have on her it looks like the due date will be January 20th.   LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN...

JANUARY 20TH

During our 20 week ultrasound, the Dr. predicted Star would be born February 16, 2 full weeks after her February 2 due date we got from the RE after IVF.   We now officially have a month wide window for Star to show her cute little (I mean big...but cute...) face.  Dr. B wants to do another ultrasound in January to see how she is measuring then.  He showed us her growth on a graph and while she was growing slower than average in the beginning, it now appears that she is growing above average making for a wonky graph.  Then I heard him say something about being a big baby, above the 7.5 pound average...whoa.

We discussed via cord with Dr. B and he said that it's quite expensive (Which we knew) to store the cord blood after baby and that so many people donate it so even if Star should have a problem there would be plenty of cord blood in our city to help her without the costs of storing monthly.  I like that.  We talked to him about traveling tomorrow and our trip to Florida and he highly recommended that we take our OB just in case anything should happen!  I got a good laugh out of that one.  I really love him.

One thing I did verify tonight is what has been poking out from under my rib cage.  For the last two days I have felt a big round ball protruding from under my rib cage.   It's Star's butt!  Her little bottom keeps sticking out!  Her head is officially down now and her butt is up.

 Well, that's it for now.  We're off to vacation land for  week.  I will try and update on my travel experiences.  7 hours of flying/airports should be interesting with a hurt back, shoulder and now neck.  I'm going to pack some heat patches and hopefully that will help.

32 Weeks- Who does Star look like?

First off...I thought it would be fun to post our baby pictures to compare with Star's 4D ultrasound pictures... we have determined the lips are probably mine but the nose we can't decide on...it looks a little wider like J's but round like mine...check out the last post.

How far along? 32 weeks!

Baby's size? About 4 pounds. 

Weight Gain? Not sure, will find out tomorrow.  Eek.  It's been a while since I have weighed so that scares me but I have found that I eat much less now that my stomach is squished and I have started getting nauseous at the smell of foods again.  Cereal is my friend right now.  That and plain foods...again.

Sleep? Left shoulder blade is still hurting. I've tried everything I can think of to make it go away and to make the pain stop. Nothing helps.  Dr. B says that having the baby will be the only cure.  Unfortunately, I think he is right. 

Food? I have slowed down on milk.  Not sure why.  Everything else is losing it's appeal.

Best moment this week? Not this week so much as last week when we saw Star.  That was special.  J and I posted the pictures on our facebook pages and I have to say it was funny when J's Dad called after the ultrasound and seeing the pictures on Facebook.  We had posted the pictures on Facebook and referred to the baby as 'Star'.  We haven't told anyone the baby's name so when J's Dad saw 'Star'.  He told us he was a little shocked by the name.  J and I kind of laughed and when his Dad reiterated that 'Star' wasn't exactly a name he was expecting.  I looked at J and said, I think he doesn't understand that Star is her nickname.  J said "Dad, you realize that Star is just a nickname and not what her name will actually be, right?"  And his Dad said "oh yeah, I was just surprised when I saw it, that's all."  (I think he really thought we were naming her Star.)  Hopefully, he will have a better reaction to the real name we have chosen.  He has told us how much he likes the name Olivia a couple of times.  Another milestone this week is our second-second wedding anniversary. December 6, 2008 we had our second wedding in Mexico. 

Movement? Lots! Star has started sticking limbs out to stretch which I can see when my stomach stretches.  So strange.

Symptoms? Aversion to foods again.

Gender? A beautiful little girl

What I miss? Nothing.

What I'm looking forward to? Our next Dr.'s appointment, the ultrasound before hand and VACATION.  I just want to relax and not have to worry about making it to work after little to no sleep and spending 9 grueling hours in a chair with a hurt shoulder for one week.  For one week, I want to sleep in if I don't sleep during the night or lounge around instead of sit at a desk hour after hour.

Weekly Wisdom: Keep calm and carry on.

Milestones: 4 day ultrasound
What I love: Counting down the weeks until Star arrives.

Emotions: I am doing much better emotionally this week. 

Projects: I'm waiting until my long weekend on Christmas to get more projects done.  Chop-chop!  Time to crack down and knock out these pesky line items!

Star's 4D Ultrasound Photos

Just 4 of the 50 we received.  I look at them often.  I'm in love.

Weekend Recap

What a busy weekend.  It started off Friday afternoon with a 4D ultrasound of Star.  It was great to get to see her features.  She's pretty much what I expected her to look like oddly enough.  Okay, even cuter than I had imagined.  I am so happy she looks perfect and even had chubby cheeks and a chubby chin with the most kissable lips.  Oh my gosh, her lips...they are adorable.  It was difficult to get a great picture because the umbilical cord was next to her face but I am happy with what we saw.  I am happy that she looks great and healthy.  I love that I can picture her now.  She was sucking on her hand and her feet were by her face.  It's so neat to see what she is doing in there on video.  I am going to bring the video to Florida so we can show J's Grandma.  The video is better than the pictures in my opinion.  Watching her move is magical as opposed to feeling it and guessing what she is doing.  I will hopefully post some pictures here Wednesday along with J's baby picture and my baby picture so we can compare!

Friday night we had J's company party.  It was fun and I was very touched when all of his employees got together and gave him a gift bag stating how much he means to them.  He is very appreciated as their manager and I love that.  I know he is amazing but to know that his employees see it too is so great.  He received a gift bag with an hour massage, a $75.00 gift card to a Sushi restaurant, a "South Butt" (similar to north face) jacket and a framed photo of his staff.  I snuck off to bed before everyone left-I was impressed that I made it to 11:00 actually.

Saturday we had a seamstress come to the house and look at the glider in Star's room.  I am waiting for pricing for a slip cover and hope that if the pricing works out she will get started during our trip to Florida. 

Saturday I got ready for a dinner with my girls who were in town.  We went to dinner and a lingerie party for my friend Denise.  My friends Anna and Kristen came in town.  It was so great to get together.  I miss them so much and it is so nice to talk with girlfriends.  The lingerie party went great but I ducked out before the limo came so  I could get some rest before our childbirth class the next morning.

Child birth class started at 8:00 am.  We got to the hospital and signed in by 7:40 leaving us 20 minutes to check out both nurseries at the hospital.  We saw lots of babies but there was this one little boy that caught our eye.  He was alert and two days old and just perfectly content lying in his little portable crib looking around the room.  Others were crying and sleeping, this little boy was so calm and it was so neat to watch him looking around just taking it all in.  During the first break J and I went back to the nursery and there was a set of twins right up next to the window. 
Back to the class...It was mind numbing.  It was painful.  It was boring.  A couple of the classes we had already taken went over a lot of this class.  We spent an hour going over what to expect when you are pregnant..."uh, lady...we've been pregnant 7-8 months.  We get it."  We were the only couple in class that took the breastfeeding and infant care class.  No one else had taken any other classes which surprised me.  At one point when we laid on the floor to 'practice relaxing' with our pillows, lullaby music on and lights off, J and I actually tried sleeping and ignored everything the teacher was saying.  We didn't learn as much as I had hoped unfortunately but I am glad we took it because we did learn some things.  I found it interesting that after going around the room everyone in the room wanted an epidural, including myself.  I am for laboring as long as I can manage without an epidural but when it becomes too much I am all for an epidural.  I would like to enjoy some of Star's birth.  We also got a tour of the labor and delivery floor and the two recovery floors and saw the recovery room for women after c-sections.  I like to have the "lay of the land" so that was nice. 

I guess what we found out that was most interesting was:

• what to expect after delivery (and I mean, what to expect 'down there')  The nurse teaching the class showed us the mesh underwear and the pad the size of a Volkswagen Beatle.  YOWZA!  J and I both looked at each other in amazement at the size of that pad.  I think it was as long as the ladies arm...not kidding.
• We found out that c-section rates are 39-40%.  Crazy.
• 800 babies are born each month at our hospital.  They don't call it the baby factory for nothing.
• The reason I chose our hospital is because they have the only Level 3 NICU in our area.  It's brand new, like 3 months old.  I hope we never see it but it is there which is great and babies are brought here from other hospitals because it's so advanced.  She briefly touched on this.
• We can request a room with a tub in it upon arrival if one is available.  If not, we can ask for a room with a shower or use one of a few birth tub rooms during labor. 
• We can request to have 'bedside admit' where the baby is bathed and assessed right on me after delivery or next to the bed if necessary.  J and I are both interested in this.  I want her placed skin to skin if possible after delivery whether it be J's skin or mine-not placed under warming lamps and assessed across the room.
• I can also request that J be present at all times with her after a c-section and that she be placed skin to skin with him if I am not able to hold her.

Ready for this week to fly by so we can get on with our vacation.  This is the first vacation that I feel I actually NEED.

31 weeks-Busy, busy, busy.

It's my 31st week and though things feel completely out of whack I am still happy and there is no amount of discomfort that could make me say otherwise.   I've noticed I am emotional this week.  I was loading the dishwasher Monday evening when I thought I could cry.  For what?  Nothing.  Just felt like I could cry.  Tuesday I had a sad moment on my way to work and Wednesday I had one at my desk.  I am exhausted and I couldn't fit another item into my schedule if I had to. 

I am tired.  I am sleeping but have set up my bed on the sofa once again.  This is the second night I have slept downstairs.  My left shoulder is hurting now constantly; all day and especially when I try to sleep.  Heating pads help but not much.  The only thing that helps me fall asleep is the arsenal of pillows I surround myself with.  Pillows propped in such a way that I can rest my arm in a position that will allow it to not irritate my shoulder.  The sofa provides back support which I like too.  I am worried about sleeping in Florida while on vacation.  I am worried that I won't have my maternity pillow which is the foundation of the nest I make myself each night-even on the sofa.  I also sleep with a stuffed animal that I place under my belly to prop it up and a tiny pillow under my chest to prop it up.  Along with three full size pillows of different thicknesses, a smaller pillow to support my arm, a heating pad rolled up and stuffed in my bra and a fan.   It's insane but it's the only way I feel completely pain free and comfortable.  Each time I get up to use the bathroom at night I have to remake my nest.  A pain but again, the only way.  Two nights now I have slept from about 8:30 to 7 the next morning.  I could easily sleep longer.  I know being this tired is part of the third trimester so I am rolling with it but it's hard to face the holiday season and all of it's stresses with a yawn and no energy.

As with every weekend right now we have a lot going on this weekend.  Friday afternoon we have our 4D ultrasound.  I am excited for this.  I hope they are able to see Star's face.  I know that sometimes the face can be covered or the baby can be faced down towards the spine.  J told me last night that he is "very excited" which makes me happy.  I feel like the ultrasounds are his time to bond with the baby if that makes sense.  I carry her and feel her multiple times a day so for him to get to see her is special.  I am excited for him to see her more so than I am for myself.

Friday night we are hosting J's employees and their spouses at our home.  This has only been planned for a week and a half and I hope it goes well.  I feel totally unprepared which is not usually the case for me.  I am usually over prepared.  I can't believe I will be lying down getting an ultrasound with less than 4 hours until twenty-something guests arrive at our door.  I would normally take the morning off of work too but I am saving every minute of PTO that I can.  At least it's being catered and we will have the help of servers at the party.  Seeing as how I am asleep by 9:00 currently I am not sure how I will stay awake very long once guests arrive at 7:00. 

Saturday I have a lingerie party to attend for a friend of mine that is getting married.  There is a bachelorette party afterwards which I am skipping thanks very much.  Going to buy lingerie while 7 months pregnant was strange.  I felt strange buying it for someone else for starters but even more strange for looking through lingerie with a big belly.  Yilkth!  I can picture myself in a strappy number laying in my pillow nest.  Yeah, right.  Saturday during the day I have nothing going on and would normally squeeze a project in but I know right now I won't have the energy.  There are still projects for Star's room and our time is running out.  I can literally see the sand in the hour glass passing before my eyes.  I am counting on some of Christmas and New Year's break to finish these.

Sunday we have our childbirth class from 8 - 4.  That's a long day.  I know it will be informative and I am so glad to be taking this class with J but I am not looking forward to giving up an entire Sunday.  J isn't either for that matter.  He will be tivo'ing his football games.

Next week is our last week in town before vacation and I am hoping it flies by.   I am also nervous about packing.  We are leaving Friday night so I won't have anytime but the week nights to pack for our trip and I am so tired at night after work.  It's going to take a lot to pack too as I am going to have to be creative with clothes since most of what I have is winter attire.  I guess I will start Saturday and add things as I go through the week.

Did I mention I made appointments for two pediatricians in the upcoming weeks?  One of the Peds. is our OB's grand children's Pediatrician and so far from his reviews on line I like him the most.  The problem...we can't get into interview him until Jan 18.  He only does interviews on Tuesdays.  One of the referrals has an average wait time of 30 minutes- um...no.  Another referral doesn't do interviews and meets the baby after they are born...um no.  We have a Ped. office very close to our home that I wanted to check out as well so I scheduled an appointment there for Dec. 22 as well.  I think I know which one we will end up with but I hate to wait until Jan. 18 to make the decision when Star is due just a few weeks from that point. 

Well, I guess that about covers it for week 31.  And for the record I made a new record-a gallon of milk in two and a half days.  I can't get enough of the stuff.  Jamie calls me his veal which made me laugh.  As soon as he said it he said "I can see that getting posted on the blog."  Here you go babe!

Thankful

I thought an awful lot about how thankful I am last week.  I thought about it before Thanksgiving.  I thought about it daily as a matter of fact.  I summed it up by saying that I am thankful for everyone that has touched my life this past year.  That sounds so flippant in a way but so many people touched our lives and I am grateful for them all. 

I asked Jamie what he was thankful for Thanksgiving morning and he gave me a smile and pointed to himself (jokingly) which is so typical for my husband.   Thanksgiving evening, he made the most beautiful statement about all he is grateful for. 
It's been a hard year and sometimes I don't think I realize how hard it's been until I stop and think about it.  I didn't realize how hard the infertility process was until I made it to this side.  We are seven months pregnant with a little girl and I can still hardly believe it.  I am thankful each and every day for our gift.  I am thankful for my husband who was the best friend and nurse I could have asked for.  He was so supportive and made it to 98% of the appointments and gave me 99% of my injections.  He handled all of the calls to the pharmacy and I will never forget waking up on Mother's Day to find him gone.  He had run to the pharmacy to pick up more IVF medications.  He was amazing during that process.  He's amazing now.  He is going to make a great father.  He is comprised of the best part of each of his parents and Grandmother.  I love that about him. 

I'm thankful for the medical professionals in our lives this past year.  They helped to create our dream and for that I will be forever grateful.  I am so thankful for the Doctors and the nurses and the rest of the staff at Wash. U.

I'm thankful for my husbands family who supported both of us through the process and were there for us.

I'm thankful for my friends, Emily, Anna, Kristen and Denise who I rarely get to see but who I love dearly.

I am thankful for my dog, Wilson.  He watched me leave this morning as I backed out of our driveway for work and will be there to greet me when I come home tonight from work like he does everyday.  Dogs are great.  Each day J and I are greeted like we are the best things to walk through the door and I gotta tell ya...no matter what happened before you walk through the door, it somehow disappears when a furry friend is there to greet you.

I am thankful for J's job and especially his manager.  J has done very well his first year at a new job, actually that's an understatement.  He's done amazingly well.  J and his manager have a great connection that I hope will continue.  They both love Phish and they are both just weeks away from having their first children, both baby girls.

These are just a few things/people I am thankful for.  There are so many.  I am so fortunate in so many ways and it's the few people I surround myself with that I owe so much of my happiness to.