Thursday, April 1, 2010

Lucky Coconut

My Mother-in-Law, Nancy emailed me the other day and told me she sent us a "wish you were here" gift and to be looking for it in the mail. My husband and I met up before I went home and he mentioned he found the gift in our mailbox. I asked what it was (he knows I hate surprises) and he wouldn't say. So I get home and my eyes scan the kitchen and at first I thought there was a big rock on the counter and then I realized there was a coconut on the counter. I knew right away even from the backside that it was from Nancy. She lives in Florida this time of year and only she would think to do something this funny! I picked it up and shook it and looked at the shamrock and heart stickers all over it and told J-"This will be our lucky coconut for the next cycle." I mean it's covered in hearts and clovers right? Love and luck!

For a few weeks now I have wanted to post something about Nancy, I've been writing this post slowly. It's difficult to explain to people but she has been like a second mother to me for over 15 years now.  I was kicked out of my parent’s house at 17. I was kicked out for skipping class. I was in my third high school in three years and school was proving difficult for me. I skipped the classes in which teachers would call on me to answer questions out loud or classes that built on past education. I was embarrassed of my lack of knowledge so the easiest path to avoid the embarrassment was to skip. I know it's bad, but at the time it was the quick fix in my simple mind.

J and I confided in Nancy about our decision to move forward with IVF a in January and I am so glad we did. I am not lying when I say that she has emailed, called or skyped J or myself nearly every day for over two months. She has been an incredible source of support for both of us. I would imagine most girls leave an RE appointment and call their Mom to update them on how things went, I update Nancy. It's nice to have someone to relay information to in times of excitement or sadness and she has been that person for me.

Nancy has a knack for bringing family together and planning holidays with all of the trimmings and manages to make every person feel thought of. At Christmas every year the stockings hang heavily from the mantle, so many of them that they even cascade down the sides of the fireplace. Every person's name embroidered on their stocking. My first Christmas as J's girlfriend, I had my own embroidered stocking. I am still impressed. I have often wondered how much time and money she spends filling those stockings too...and they aren't filled with useless items either. They are filled with the neatest little trinkets, beauty items, lottery tickets, etc. Little treasures selected especially for each individual. Stockings serve more as decoration since my brother and I have grown up at my parent’s house. They're the best part of the holidays in my opinion and if it weren't for Nancy I wouldn't experience them at all. On my birthday this year when my parents didn't call or acknowledge me, Nancy did. She does every year.

The traditions that my husband looks forward to every year have become the traditions I look forward to every year. On top of ALL of this, she is a great cook, has a great sense of humor and is a fabulous grandparent. One of the things I admire about her most is her relationship to her grandchildren. She could out do most Grandmothers and she does it naturally with such ease. Her grand kids love her.

I'm grateful for my Mother-in-Law. I'm looking forward to the future with Nancy. I hope that I am able to witness a relationship one day between her and my own children. Some days it seems like a distant dream but the mere thought of it gives me what I need to move forward in this process.

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