Wednesday, May 19, 2010

4dp3dt-You have my express written consent.

I haven't been blogging the last few days as I am trying not to obsess so I apologize for not commenting but I did want to stop by long enough to make a suggestion. 

A few months ago I was watching the show "Dirty Jobs" on Discovery Channel and was intrigued when I saw a Cow with a window in her stomach!  Yes, a window.  Scientists were able to make a little portal and see how the cow's food was being processed.  Someone would feed her, she would swallow and a few seconds later the grains would come pouring into her stomach. 

Here are a couple of pictures from A window into the world of a cow's stomach

Here she is with her portal plugged, kinda like your kitchen sink...

And here is a lady reaching into the portal to get a feel for
what's happening inside of this cow's stomach...

Why am I writing about this?  Well, I would like to give my express written consent for this same portal to be placed in my stomach so I can KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THERE!!!!!  Hook that portal right into my uterus and fill me in on what's happening!  This should come with the cost of IVF.  1st-egg retrieval, 2nd-embryo transfer, 3rd-portal surgically installed. 

I'm going crazy people!  I hate surprises, I hate waiting in anticipation, I hate worrying, I got a cold sore this morning from the stress of all of this.  I hate cold sores.  I want a portal installed in my stomach, STAT!

Thank you.


nge said...

Patience is a virtue---that NONE OF US HAVE right now! Hold on, we're gonna make it!

Alex said...

That is so BIZARRE!!! But I totally get it why you would want a portal!!!

Hang in there!!!

Keepontrying said...

Sign me up! I could really use one of those right now! Hang in there!

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Ha ha, I couldn't see where this was going, but it made me laugh.