Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Stim Day 5- BLOAT (already?)

You know, I was thinking about it today and it seems like the only time an infertile is able to get excited and have hope is when she's cycling.  You know, when you find yourself in that critical window of a cycle?  Whether you are on clomid, using timed intercourse, doing IUI or IVF there lies a window in which we all get to have hope and enjoy the mere possibility of what may lie ahead - if only for a short while.  With each passing day since I started stimming I have been in a better mood and for the first time since March I do have hope.  With each injection, each appointment, each day I mark off my calendar I am reminded of what could be at the end of this cycle and that gives me a tremendous amount of happiness.  A few times today I took notice of my happiness and it feels foreign.  The happiness goes against everything I've been feeling the past few months but it's so welcome and it feels so nice.  I would love for it to stick around a while longer. 

I started noticing this morning that my pants are tight.  While sitting at my desk I must unbutton my pants or someone may lose and eye!  I remember last cycle I had this issue as well and that is when I started wearing SWEAT PANTS to work!  Not your average sweat pants, no elastic around the ankles  just a simple black straight leg pant.  It's hot out though and this time it isn't as exciting as last time but man oh man, I can't go through another day being this uncomfortable!  It seems so soon but I looked back at last cycle and it was also around day 5 that I felt this way so I guess that's just my "norm".

Oh yeah...that 7 pounds I lost a couple of months ago when I decided to start Weight Watchers (which ended a week later when I started birth control for this cycle) is back too.  *Sigh*  I think it's water weight only because I haven't been eating differently and it crept up the last few days.  The only difference in my diet are protein shakes.  It's got to be the meds.  My hips feel full and my abdomen feels very bloated, like a water balloon.  Even after peeing, my abdomen still feels full and heavy.  Well, I remember one lady saying last cycle "the bloat means it's working" so I am going to take her word on it and dress for comfort. 

Another E2 check tomorrow.  Let's hope that number keeps on rising!  J's been singing to the follies nightly!  (He sings into my belly button so they can hear!)  Ha ha.  Something silly that makes us laugh every night before we go to sleep.  This is my favorite part of cycling!


Glass Case of Emotion said...

That bloat has always been normal for me too. Sometimes, it even creeps into my face region. My clinic said up to 10 pounds of weight gain is considered normal.


Hopefully the fullness= goodness.


Alex said...

That is so true about with hope comes happiness. It's sad that the only time we can feel truly happy is when we have hope for that particular cycle to work. But at least you recognize it!

The bloat sucks. Something that is such a joy with stimming!!! But at least that means it's working!

Good luck at your checkup tomorrow...

Sooz said...

I know what you mean about hope only coming at certain times. It's sad but true. I'm hoping that this time it's not just hope but reality for you!

Oh, and the bloating part sucks big time. I get that, too!

SassyIfLady said...

Good luck with everything! Take care!

T said...

Come on follies! Work your magic! This woman is meant to be a mommy!!
Thank you for the sweet words. I missed you and everyone too!

TeeJay said...

Hope does bring us happiness...and I relish it as much as I fear it. I'm hoping for a great E2 number for you! It's the silly things in life that help get us through the tough times, so go ahead and be silly! Especially if it relaxes you and makes you laugh...that is a great feeling.