How far along? 20 weeks! Half way there! I can't believe it.
Baby's size? A Cantaloupe!
Weight Gain? This week I am going to say definitely yes! I'm expecting anywhere from 2 to 4 pounds in the last month.
Maternity clothes? Yes! I placed a large order before labor day and received the order last week. I started wearing full panel maternity pants this week. Though it feels strange to wear my pants like Irkle (all the way up to my armpits) I have to say it's so much better than a bella band. The bella bands had grown tight and were constricting and giving me aching pains in my stomach. The tops I ordered are a little too big for me yet, I am waiting to wear some of them and am returning others.
Sleep? Last night I finally slept a full night without any type of medication but for the past two or three weeks I have been awake every night from 2 - 5. I think I was just so tired last night it finally caught up with me and I crashed.
Food? It's all good. I still wouldn't eat a pork chop or a steak, I don't think I would eat a chicken breast either but chopped up chicken or something in a recipe is okay. I'm so glad to add regular foods back in my diet and to be back in the kitchen cooking. Loving all types of fruit, especially these Tango apples our grocer carries. We had never heard of them but they are so good. I also drink milk like it's going out of style. We will have gone through two gallons in a week and a half time frame. I am making cupcakes with buttercream icing to bring to work on Monday to let everyone know what we are having-the cupcakes will either be brown and blue or brown and pink (choclate and colored vanilla buttercream icing). This should be interesting since some people don't even know I'm pregnant STILL and if others suspect I haven't confirmed. Some I have told.
Best moment this week? Yesterday. I brought the headphones I keep at home to work. These are the headphones I place on my belly to play music to baby star. I chose some different music from my ipod and sat at my desk while baby star rocked out. Yesterday afternoon I felt a lot of movement from star. I don't know if it had anything to do with the music but it was cool to be sitting in a meeting and feel star boppin' away like his/her daddy does to Phish!
Movement? I was worried because I wasn't feeling it that often. Every few days maybe. Once a week perhaps. I have a feeling I am going to start feeling more movement now. I am so excited for this but still waiting for J to feel it.
Symptoms? Oh my gosh. Still.freaking.dizzy. That's getting way old. I now have what feels like a pinched nerve in my lower back. The spot remains sore constantly but every once in a while a sharp shooting pain comes and I have to yell. It hurts so bad I arch my back and rub that area. I don't know if this is normal or if it's because I have been sleeping on the sofa a lot which puts my back in a weird position. Two cushions come together right where my lower back is on the sofa, maybe that's why it's constantly sore. I guess I will try a new position and see if that helps. My feet are already swelling. I usually kick off my shoes at work and put slippers on. Yesterday afternoon I put my shoes back on to go to a meeting and my feet would barely fit. I've heard I need to wear more supportive shoes instead of slippers so I think I will start putting on tennis shoes or something-if I can tie them.
Gender? Tomorrow is the day. I have waited for this day and I am so excited. We have been counting down the days until this ultrasound since it was scheduled and J is excited too. J still of course thinks it's 100% a girl-he hasn't wavered one bit. I tend to lean more towards a girl but the more positive he is there is something in me that says boy. In any event I can't wait to see Jamie's expression. If it is a boy I think he will lose it. I'm picturing tears of shock and joy, visions of all the things he will do with his son, especially sports. If it's a girl I think he will say "ummmm hmmmm. I knew it. I told you." He swears that just by my symptoms, google and the chinese calendar he knows for sure. He is excited for the possibility of a girl too. I can see J with a little girl. She'd be lucky to have him for a father.
J said something funny and cute to me a few months ago. He had just been rough housing with his niece and she left when he came to me and said "playing with Lilly gives me relief if we have a girl." I said "why's that?" He said "because I know that girls can still be tough and rough house and play sports." That was too cute.
As for me, I would be perfectly content with either. Whether our family involves a baby boy or a girl I will feel so lucky and blessed to have the honor of being a Mom. I just want to be a Mom. I still can't believe this honor has been placed upon us. I feel like I have won the lottery. In the beginning of our IF journey I remember being so scared as to how long this journey would be. Would we ever reach our destination? We did and I feel so fortunate. I thank my lucky stars all the time that we have been given this opportunity.
For the record...here's who thinks the baby is a boy or a girl:
Amber-Boy (because Jamie is so sure it's a girl)
Brent (A's brother)-Boy
Lisa (Friend)-Girl (she thinks J would quit after a boy so she wants a girl first)
What I miss? Nothing. I don't miss a thing.
What I'm looking forward to? Our ultrasound tomorrow. I sent Jamie a meeting request for the date and when it popped up this morning it made me smile. The appointment title read "Is it a boy or a girl?" the inside said "Our lives will change forever today." It's one thing to know we are pregnant, it's another thing to know who will make up the third person in our family-forever. I just hope the legs are uncrossed! Please God let those legs be wide open! In any event, even if they are closed-I get to see my baby move and squirm. How lucky am I?
Weekly Wisdom: Gender scans and colonoscopy "prep" shouldn't mix. I am expecting disaster. My poor hubby has a colonoscopy scheduled Friday morning which he has to prep for starting Thursday before our ultrasound and Dr. appt. I am scared for him...and for me....and anyone else in the rooms with us.
Milestones: 20th week. We're half way there!
What I love: Feeling the baby out of the blue. Minding your own business, working, talking, watching TV when all of a sudden you catch a reminder of the miracle growing inside of you. Makes my heart melt each time.
Emotions: Having a rough time with depression. I am going to talk to my Doctor about this tomorrow. I think I have a lot going on outside of this pregnancy.