Weekend Recap and so much more...

We had a very productive weekend. 

Friday we had dinner out and went to Jamie's nephew's baseball game.  He was pitching and it's always fun to see his games and we were able to spend some time talking with J's brother in law Shawn.  We had a good time, and laughed a lot.

Saturday Jamie and I went to Babies R Us to look at cribs and bedding.  I had searched the internet and found a bedding set and crib I was happy with weeks ago but I wanted to see if anything there struck J.  Two hours later we exited the building in complete shock.  We made the mistake of looking at bottles and infant seats and strollers, talking to an employee (or three) and looking at cribs and bedding.  We learned a lot but have more questions than what we started with!  Good things that came from our adventure to BRU...they had a version of the crib I liked and Jamie liked it too.  Cribs are built so big now that they resemble cars more so than cribs.  J also didn't love any of the girl's bedding there so at least we were in agreement...although we both liked some of the boys bedding. 

I jumped on Craigslist to find the Jenny Lind style crib I had envisioned for her room.  I found one for $50.  We went and picked up the crib, brought it home and cleaned it very well and Jamie ordered the recalled part and it's on the way. 

Jamie found us a killer deal on that bedding I love (here).  20% off!  We ordered the bumper, crib skirt, two floral sheets, two pink sheets, 5 yards of floral fabric and a minky changing pad cover all for 20% off due to my DH's discount detective skills!  This place never offers coupons but happened to have one this week as customer appreciation week on their facebook page!  Afterwards, we installed window blinds on the bare windows. 
Sunday I picked up a pottery barn Jenny Lind style changing table from someone off of Craigslist.  Originally $300 for $60.  I brought it home and cleaned it up and the two items are in place in Star's room!  Sunday afternoon I made cupcakes for my group in the office.  People usually bring in food to celebrate good news and I wanted to do something special to celebrate the fact that we are having a girl.  After baking I started spray painting the chandelier which will go in the babies room white.  J came home later and added a few more coats.  It's looking beautiful and will be very pretty when the crystals are added later.

I will post some pictures of the nursery later.  I was too tired at the end of our weekend to take pictures!  It's so neat to walk by Star's room and see a crib in there.  So exciting.

One thing that's hurting my heart is a conversation I had with Jamie Saturday night.  I don't know if I can explain this effectively but I'm going to try...He's excited for a girl but he's still saying this will probably be our only child due to resources.  He's sad for that because it means he may never have a boy and coming to terms with this being our only child and knowing it's a girl is hard for him.  He has wanted a boy so bad for at least 9 years.  This makes me tear up just thinking about it.  We are both excited for a girl and feel so lucky but to not be able to afford a sibling for her or try for a boy hurts.  If we were any normal couple able to conceive naturally he wouldn't be counting us out of the boy race yet, we would just try again, but given the price of IVF and considering we'd have to try our luck again and risk so much money it's an honest assessment that it's probably not an option for us to go back for another IVF cycle.   (Here is when I wish we lived in a state that offered assistance for IVF)  It would be especially difficult money wise if I started working part time with the cost of a baby, we wouldn't have the money for another cycle.  That's a tough pill to swallow.  J admitted to me that while watching his nephew's baseball game Friday night we was a little sad thinking that he may never get the opportunity to experience sports with his own son.  Ugh.  My heart.  I mean, how can I not feel responsible for this?  How can I not feel bad for my body causing this?   I tried comforting him telling him he never knows what can happen and that the only person throwing in the towel on a boy is him...but honestly, short of a miracle and conceiving naturally what are our chances there?  What else could I say?  I know we're lucky for just one baby and 6 months ago we would have both killed for just one baby but to think that you may only be able to have just one because of money seems so unfair.